Middle school has always been a tough time. Girls are wanting to become more independent, and begin creating their identity and explore who they want to become. Social media provides a plethora of opportunities to explore new interests, learn new skills, learn about causes, and find support. Girls are able to watch videos to learn how to do something new or share a talent or skill that they have. With various accounts that promote everything from social change to environmental awareness; along with new skills like exercise, make up tutorials, music, and science experiments, there is nothing your girls can’t discover on social media. Girls can also instantly get an answer for any question they may have. Yes, that is scary that they can find anything including inappropriate and incorrect content. As adults and parents we must encourage skill building and discovery outside of social media. If your girl loves watching videos about science experiments, encourage her to do some at home or go to the science museum. If your girl is interested in a specific social topic, encourage her to talk about it with you or friends. Don’t let the internet be the only source of reference they have; encourage and help bring the outside world to her.

Social Media also allows her to share her thoughts and pictures with her friends, or the world. It allows her to show her identity to others. As she is building her identity she is able to make that identity public. Prior to social media girls had fewer ways to express their identity, mostly just in the way they dressed or decorated their room. Today girls can take pictures and videos of who they are and share it with everyone. The sharing with everyone however, can become an issue. Ensure that your girls’ profiles are private or that they are posting things that truly represent who they are.  

To better understand the other reason why girls love social media, picture this: a slumber party, at your house, with your daughter and 15 friends. You probably already feel tired and have a headache because you know you won’t sleep because they will be up all night talking. Their phone and social media has now allowed that slumber party to happen all the time. Just like at a slumber party, social media allows girls to be in constant communication, and that constant communication is exactly what their brain is telling them to get. At this stage in their development, psychologically, girl’s brains are telling them to make connections through talking. Smartphones and social media just made it possible for girls to be in constant communication with each other. Girls are connecting in a different way than in the past, and technology can be a distorting factor when it comes to communication. Encourage face to face communication and putting the phone down when having a conversation with someone face to face. Be sure to set this example with your use of social media.

Making a Social Media Compact

Since social media has become such a large part of our lives it is important to talk about it and learn how to use it safely. It is also important that adults set a good example of social media use. If you want your girl to have a conversation without scrolling through her phone at the same time, make sure you are not doing the same. If you do not want your girl engaging with internet trolls, then make sure you are not. If you do not want your girl to post pictures of herself on a public profile, then make sure when you post pictures of her they are also private.

It is important to encourage and model good social media use at home. To ensure that good social media use is happening, create a social media compact with your girl. A compact, instead of a contract, can be altered or changed over time. Have an open discussion with your girl and come up with a few different practices you can both agree upon. Examples include no phones at dinner or setting privacy settings. Make sure that this is not just a set of one sided rules and regulations for your girl, but agreements and guidelines for both involved. Once the discussion is over write down and sign your compact.